Leading with Heart in a World of Different Leadership Styles

For me, leadership has never been about chasing titles or checking boxes—it’s about investing my heart into the success of my team and organization. After 26 years of leading in retail, one thing I know for sure is this: when your heart is in it, the work feels bigger than the role.

But here’s the reality—leaders around us don’t all approach the job the same way. Some lead with deep, heart-focused commitment to their people, while others lean more self-focused, looking out for recognition, comfort, or career climbing. Early in my career, this used to frustrate me. I’d find myself asking: Why am I pouring so much into my team when others aren’t doing the same?

Over time, I learned something freeing: you can’t control how others lead, but you can always control how you show up. True leadership is defined by consistency, integrity, and the standard you set for yourself—even when the playing field feels uneven.

1. Reframe the Moment into Focus

I’ll never forget a season years ago when I felt like I was running uphill alone. I was coaching, building energy in huddles, and walking the floor with purpose—while a peer leader seemed checked out, content to let their team drift. I remember the frustration boiling up.

But then I asked myself: Am I leading for them, or am I leading for my team? That shift reframed everything. Different leadership styles will always exist, but my impact is measured by what I bring to the people who count on me every day.

Tool for Growth: Each morning, I set one non-negotiable leadership behavior. It could be meaningful one-on-ones, recognizing a teammate, or firing up a morning huddle. Anchoring my day this way kept me from slipping into comparison.

2. Lead by Example, Not Expectation

You can’t force someone else to care the way you do. But I’ve found that when you model effort and authenticity, people notice—even if they don’t admit it. I’ve seen peers roll their eyes at my energy during a huddle, only to adopt the same behaviors months later when they realized it worked.

Tool for Growth: Be open about your “why.” For me, it’s always been about belief—believing in people before they always believe in themselves. When your team knows the fire behind your actions, it gives your leadership weight.

3. Manage Emotional Energy with Intention

I’d be lying if I said I never let frustration get the best of me. There have been nights I drove home replaying what another leader did—or didn’t do—and letting it eat at me. The problem? My family, my team, and my focus paid the price.

What helped was building a reset practice. Now, when I feel frustration rise, I pause and ask myself: Is this within my control? What’s the next positive action I can take? That quick redirect pulls me back to center.

Tool for Growth: Don’t deny the emotion—acknowledge it, then channel it into action that lifts your team rather than weighs you down.

4. Build Your Balance Through Support

Some of my biggest growth has come from mentors who were willing to tell me the truth. I remember one leader saying to me: “Joe, don’t let someone else’s lack of effort cheapen your investment. You’re not running their race—you’re running yours.” That stuck.

Tool for Growth: Create a rhythm of reflection—a weekly check-in with a peer, journaling about what you learned, or a conversation with a mentor. It’s not about venting—it’s about keeping perspective sharp.

5. Poise in the Face of Uneven Expectations

One of the hardest dynamics is when it feels like you’re carrying more weight than a peer who’s just coasting. I’ve been there, and I’ll be honest—it doesn’t feel fair. But fairness isn’t the game. Impact is.

Tools for Growth:

• Anchor to Values: My values—candor, courage, and care—don’t shift based on who’s standing next to me.

• Detach from Ego: Recognition isn’t the scoreboard. Results and people development are.

• Use Contrast as Clarity: When I see self-focused leadership, it’s a reminder of who I never want to become.

• Protect Your Team: No matter what’s happening around me, my team deserves consistency and belief every day.

Poise means you don’t let uneven effort shake your foundation. Balance means you keep showing up steady, regardless of who’s keeping pace.

6. Keep the Long Game in View

When I look back on the best leaders I’ve worked with, I don’t remember their reports or their promotions—I remember how they made people feel. That’s legacy.

And that’s the perspective that keeps me grounded. While others may take shortcuts, you’re building trust, credibility, and a team that knows you’ll never waver in your commitment to them. That outlasts any uneven effort.

Final Thought

Different leadership styles will always exist. Some will be heart-first, others will be self-first. But your leadership isn’t defined by what others give or fail to give. It’s defined by how consistently you show up with courage, candor, and heart.

Because at the end of the day, your legacy won’t be measured by what others didn’t do—it will be remembered by the steady way you gave your best, day after day.