Let Me: The Other Half of Leadership Strength

By Joe Glaser | General Manager | Leadership Coach | Founder of The Leadership Edge

Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” theory stopped me in my tracks the first time I heard it.

“Let them walk away. Let them believe what they want. Let them not understand your heart.”

At first, it sounded like giving up. But the more I sat with it, the more I saw the power behind it. Let them isn’t surrender—it’s self-preservation. It’s the ability to stop wasting your energy on what you can’t control.

But there’s a deeper truth I’ve come to learn in my own leadership journey:

You can’t just “let them” and walk away. You’ve also got to say—let me.

Because if “Let Them” is about boundaries…“Let Me” is about ownership.

Let Me… Take Extreme Ownership

Several years ago, I came face-to-face with my own leadership wall. The store I was running was underperforming. Morale was low. I felt like I was pushing a boulder uphill—alone.

I wanted to blame the system. The politics. The lack of resources. The talent pool. I even had moments where I blamed my own team.

But deep down, I knew the truth. The culture was a reflection of my leadership. Not my intentions—my impact.

That’s when I picked up Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. And it wrecked me in the best way.

“There are no bad teams, only bad leaders.”

That line cut deep. But I knew they were right.

So I stopped asking what was wrong with them and started asking what needed to change in me.

I stopped waiting for a savior from corporate. I stopped complaining behind closed doors. I stopped playing defense—and I said:

Let me take full responsibility.

Let Me… Lead Myself First

You can't lead others well if you’re not leading yourself with intention and honesty.

During that season, I started waking up earlier, journaling, and asking myself hard questions:

• Am I showing up with consistency—or just charisma?

• Am I holding my team accountable—or trying to be liked?

• Am I creating a culture of ownership—or just managing chaos?

I realized I had created a team of performers who were waiting on me to tell them how they were doing—because I wasn’t empowering them to own it themselves.

So I shifted the standard. I got radically clear on expectations, built stronger rhythms of feedback, and most importantly—I let go of my need to control every outcome.

Let me show them what ownership looks like. Let me build leaders, not followers.

Let Me… Shift the Tide by Changing My Reflection

There’s a quote I’ve carried with me since those early days:

“If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, don’t break the mirror—change what’s being reflected.”

I had to become the leader my team needed. Not just the leader I wanted to be.

I started giving more honest feedback—even when it was uncomfortable. I started inviting accountability—on myself first. I started asking for feedback from my leaders and my team.

And I’ll tell you something personal: that shift didn’t happen overnight. It took failure. It took coaching. It took humility.

But eventually, the tide shifted.

People began stepping up. Trust deepened. Ownership spread. Not because I cracked some magic code—But because I stopped trying to fix everyone else…

…and started saying, “Let me model it first.”

Let Me… Lead in the Dark

There were moments during that transformation where I felt isolated. Where I was doing the right things, but the results were lagging behind. Where I wondered if the culture would ever catch up.

But I stayed anchored.

I leaned harder into Extreme Ownership. I kept coming back to my values. And I repeated a simple mantra to myself:

“They might not get it yet. They might not follow right away. Let them. But let me keep going anyway.”

That’s when I began to understand the real power of leadership.

Leadership isn’t about making people follow. It’s about becoming the kind of leader worth following.

Let Me… Finish the Mission

Even today, I still face moments where I’m misunderstood, challenged, or let down.

But here’s my posture now:

Let them go. Let them doubt. Let them question.

And let me stay grounded. Let me stay mission-focused. Let me keep leading with courage and heart.

Because you can’t build culture with control. You build it with consistency, clarity, and compassion.

Final Thought

If you’re in a tough season—where you’re carrying more than your share, or feeling like your effort is unnoticed—just know this:

You're not alone. But you're also not powerless.

Before you try to force alignment… Before you chase every disengaged team member… Before you exhaust yourself trying to control what you can’t…

Pause.

And ask: What do I need to let go of? And what is mine to own?

Because leadership lives in the balance.

Let them. Let me.

Let them opt out. Let me stay all in.

Let them resist growth. Let me keep becoming.

That’s how the tide turns. Not by force—but by example.

https://youtu.be/jvlnBp-Rijo?si=B7xwcR8LaKMOakvr